The Truth About ‘Self Love’…


If I had a pound (or equivalent currency for your country) for every ‘Love Yourself’ / ‘Self Love’ meme I see with candles, bubble baths, toasty blankets or books, I would be debt-free and then some! Don’t get me wrong, it’s all part of the ‘love yourself more’ package; but rarely does someone want to talk to you about the more serious side of truly putting yourself first and nurture 101.

It’s not all about ice-cream and Lush bombs


Let’s talk about the nitty gritty realism of ‘self-love’. I’m talking making sure you pay your rent on time, or leave enough money in your back for that direct debit that always comes up the day before pay day! I’m shouting about health MOTs with your GP, dentist and optician! I’m talking about that drawer that you avoid in your bedroom/kitchen/bathroom (delete as appropriate) that contains everything from the one piece of gum left in a packet to the sealed envelopes that you can’t bring yourself to tear open.

That, my girl, also falls under the realms of loving yourself a teensy bit more than you may have been up and until this point. It won’t necessarily have you feeling baby-soft and wrinkle-free, but I can guarantee it’ll have an effect on your mental wellbeing and the night of sleep that follows afterwards.

Here are some examples of ways you can love your wellbeing a little harder than you do:

1.Vagina admin – There, I said it. It’s a good one to start with because it ‘lightens the mood’ somewhat; but is of vital importance all the same. Call the doctor, book the appointment, note it in your diary, go wax / shave / trim to ensure you feel your best in potentially one of the most awkward scenarios us ladies have the pleasure of finding ourselves in! (Did I tell you about the time the nurse had to stand on an upturned box to get a ‘better view’ during my last one? No? Funny that. It seems like such a great ‘sharing story’…)

2.Finance – March yourself straight to your latest statements, pile of bills, banking app, grab a cup of caffeine, a pen and a notebook. Paper beats Excel.doc every time in my eyes! Take a swig of the black stuff and start recording your monthly outgoings in date order (whether they’re a direct debit or otherwise) and don’t forget the educated budgets for petrol, food, any hobbies or clubs you attend, late fees you’ll no doubt incur at the gym, etc. I mean it… EVERYTHING must be recorded. Then calculate your remaining funds, after you’ve removed the TOTAL (I mean it… that Amazon purchase you treat yourself to once or three times a week, doesn’t buy itself!) and OWN IT. One thing I’ve started to do is transfer the ‘remaining’ money to another account (for which I also have a bank card for). I now have complete control over how I spend that money and my monthly and weekly outgoings take care of themselves. Just a suggestion…

3.Life To-Do List – If you can’t tell, I love a notebook. This is a bit of a cheat really as my budget notebook is also my ‘Life To Do List’ book; but you know… I like my lists to seem as extensive as possible! Each month I sit down and write a comprehensive list of all the things I have ‘to do’ and / or want to achieve. Ain’t no-one got time to make a pretty bullet journal (power to you, if you do… I just don’t have the patience). At most, I draw two boxes beside each item. One that I colour code (you can choose a priority system or whether the focus is health, finance, social, etc,.) and the other box to tick when I’ve achieved it. Don’t judge. If I didn’t think it’d be a slight step too far, I’d be covered in gold stars every time I initiated a tick…

4.The Drawer Declutter – Come on… I’m not dedicating an entire YouTube video encouraging you to go ‘minimalist’ and throw away every non-black item of clothing, or to keep one bag, one pair of trainers, one coat that can take you from day-night, one shade of foundation that can keep you looking your best in pasty winter months and olive-kissed sunlit days (having said this, if you know of one… hook me up!) Choose an appropriate sized and strength rubbish bag, turn on some music or pop your favourite show on in the background and just RIP THE BANDAID! Open the drawer (as far as you can, seeing as it’s probably lodged with who knows what) and begin to sort in to piles and have a very definite ‘throw’ pile. Most items will have other homes (“Why is this screwdriver in my bedside cabinet again?”) and file away as you go… If you don’t get a sense of achievement at the end of it all, then I don’t know what will!

I think that’s enough to get you going… Or at least to realise that if, like me, having a duvet day, just leaves you feeling unproductive and far from relaxed, guess what? You can love yourself by doing a little sorting, tick-boxing and appointment-making!

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